Chocolate Turnover

I keep on telling everyone that it’s gonna be okay and all. But then, am i gonna be okay? Urgh, i hate this feeling. The feeling where everything is slowly, cutting through your heart and kebam! you realize that you’re actually really vulnerable. It’s like you keep on telling yourself that you’re gonna make it, but at the same time, i do have doubts. 

‘It’s okay.’

That is what i’ve been telling myself for quite awhile. I can’t seem to differentiate whether I’m actually okay or everything is just in my head. For the past month, i thought over the matter quite a number of times and honestly I think it wouldn’t be that bad. Except that when a phone call changes everything. I was on the phone and I told that person about the matter. Of course that person was sad, disappointed but there’s nothing that i can do to fix it. Anyway, what you said before the call ended really got to me. The words ‘…was really hoping for it’ came out and then it hit me. At this moment, I just realized how big this thing is. How much of a difference it would make. Of course he was hoping for it, he told me what he would do to make my dream, his dream come true. The fact that he is willing to sacrifice so much for me, that’s just too overwhelming. He mentioned that he would do this and that just to make it happen. I can’t just stand there and not say anything. I can’t imagine him being in that situation for any longer. He has been doing it for far too long, it’s time for him to put a stop to this. There comes a point in life where you just want everything to stop, make sure that everything is okay and basically not to worry about anything anymore.